"In three words I can sum up everything that I have learned about life. It goes on."
Robert Frost

How true. It seems like my life doesn't make too much sense these days. I feel like I'm just floating. All I can count on is the sun rising in the morning and the possibility of a fresh start. Although my life is often much lessbleak then to simply say it goes on, Frost is right, if nothing else, life does goes on.

I wrote this the other day. It's my first attempt at a 'stream of conciousness' poem, so, here it is.


For the first time I’m hungering for a cigarette
Wondering why I have these stupid little vices
And remembering all those times I doubted the existence of addiction
I wonder if it even really matters
I mean sixty years from now I’m dead anyway
Buried, gone, no memory except these words I’m reading here today
But I don’t really care about death
It’s far enough away not to be worried about
And after?
Well if I want to see infinity all I have to do is look at the sky
Take a glimpse up at the stars I take for granted and try to see past them
Into some void or emptiness I hope is filled with more than just my stare
And I worry too much about how I look
And how other people look at me
And why love is such a fucking mystery
Or maybe I’m confused because it’s not
Always looking for a soul mate
A friend
Just one good kiss
All my life seems to be pointing over a cliff
It seems like I’m destined for something
Not quite sure what
Or how
But something
If not I’m just wasting my time staring at stars that I can’t see when I’m dead
And it’s one of those moments in my life where there
Is so much good in front of me
I can’t decide what’s best
And what I want with it
I’m not even feeling that deserving
Unable to keep my heart straight and my thoughts organized
Like there’s too much going on for me not to have priorities
Every day love creeps back into my life
And sometimes it stays into the night
Curling up beside me and reminding me of sunnier days
But most it’s banished back to the hole where I left it
Never to return
Never to hurt again
But there’s no time for that now
My heart’s too big for one person to fill it
And the stars are waiting outside



So I guess that's it. More to come.